mourning in the morning

Fuck it. It was just a modelling contest but why was I so hurt when I saw the pictures? Damn they do look good together. They must be a pair. A perfect pair. So what is my role in this world then? I was not even informed that there will be something like that. It was all unexpected. I even prayed that she might win, consoled her when she did not, yet she didn't let me know at all.

And I found it by myself. Damn. Wish that this moment will not leave a scar. Wish that I culd still find the reason to love her.

Untitled.

A lot has changed. I am not myself right now. My day turned into night and my night turned to day. Literally. Seems like sleep has turned its back on me. Many days have passed that I had observed the rising of the sun from my room. Like now, typing utter nonsense without having a taste of a peaceful slumber. Amazing.

Vices have gone from bad to baaaaaaaaad. Alcoholic, smokaholic, and puyatholic. Damn it.

Happy Valentine's everyone. My supposed to be valentine is far far away. Many miles back home. I wish that I could be where she is right at this moment, maybe in her bed. *grin*

Honestly, I love you, you sexy devil.